I've had a big chat with Mark this morning and took a heap of notes during it. He's an absolutely magic guy and a brilliant sounding board for me. I always feel that he puts things into perspective for me and he has the ability to put into words the things that I can't.
Mark, thank you so much....
I've got a lot to think about this weekend. I'll be doing that while I'm running around...
I've got my last exam on Monday for tech. I've also got 3 resits to do on Tuesday night before rehearsal so that will be fun.
I'm enjoying my training again which is a relief. I didn't think that I was going to get back into the swing of things ever again! But there it is - my enthusiasm has returned!!!
I'll blog a little later on tonight again when I've got some more time. I have to go and see my eldest step-daughter get a tattoo now.......sigh
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Diesel and Life
I began training and dieting in earnest last week and as usual I find that circumstances are plotting against me. This week has been thrown as little due to my little boy passing away yesterday. Logically I can understand that I did everything that I could for him and would have paid my last cent to keep him alive but emotionally I feel like I failed him. I'm working through it though because I can't keep letting my emotions rule my life.
I had planned on going to the gym yesterday but with all the kafuffle, I didn't get there except to weigh in and my weight went up (damn it!). I've taken today off work though just to grieve and try to get back to normal emotionally so I'll head there this afternoon and do the training that I was going to do yesterday.
My original goals will need to be re-jigged because of my weight gain this week but I can manage that.
I'll never forget my boy but he liked his mummy to be fit and able to take him for long walks. I'll do this for him......
I had planned on going to the gym yesterday but with all the kafuffle, I didn't get there except to weigh in and my weight went up (damn it!). I've taken today off work though just to grieve and try to get back to normal emotionally so I'll head there this afternoon and do the training that I was going to do yesterday.
My original goals will need to be re-jigged because of my weight gain this week but I can manage that.
I'll never forget my boy but he liked his mummy to be fit and able to take him for long walks. I'll do this for him......
Friday, September 11, 2009
New beginnings
Having hurt my knee (AGAIN!) about 5 weeks ago, I fell into the blue funk of depression and stayed down there until just recently. It wasn't satisfying and it wasn't fun. I've finally had enough of it for the time being. Though mind you, this happens on a semi-regular basis with manic depressives.
I got in contact with Mark again yesterday and spoke with him this morning stating my desire to get back on track again. I've had a long hard look at myself and discovered that I'm fat, lazy and I no longer have a waist!! This is bad. Very Very bad.
I've got a new training programme and a new diet and a new determination to succeed. My weight and this injury have forced me to re-evaluate a lot of things. I'm up for the challenge...
I got in contact with Mark again yesterday and spoke with him this morning stating my desire to get back on track again. I've had a long hard look at myself and discovered that I'm fat, lazy and I no longer have a waist!! This is bad. Very Very bad.
I've got a new training programme and a new diet and a new determination to succeed. My weight and this injury have forced me to re-evaluate a lot of things. I'm up for the challenge...
Monday, August 3, 2009
Ah yes, Monday again
I've had a good day so far. My eating has been strictly under control and I'm feeling slimmer this afternoon. I did my cardio and upper body this afternoon and am feeling pretty darn good. I've got another weigh in tomorrow so I hope that it reflects my work.
I'm nervous about it though. My scales have been going up and down all week so I don't know what's going to happen. We'll see...
I'm nervous about it though. My scales have been going up and down all week so I don't know what's going to happen. We'll see...
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Slack slack slack!
I've not been updating lately. I'm slack I know. My weight loss is doing quite well so far. I've lost 4 weeks in a row. Only little ones until this last week. 2.3kg down last Tuesday. I don't know about this week. My weight doesn't seem to have moved judging by my scales. We'll see though.
I need to concentrate more on my training this week. I've been doing cardio and looking after what I eat but not completely strictly.
I'm feeling pretty happy though within myself and work seems to be going fairly steadily as well. I don't really know what the difference is. I've been off my medication for about a month but it doesn't seem to have affected me as it used to. I'm looking forward to my life for the first time in a long time. It feels a little strange....
I have a heavy 5 months ahead of me now - I'm directing a play for Melville (auditions at the end of this month and production starts final weekend of November), I'm planning to getting back to my singing at some stage and I'm also looking at passing all my exams through Tech with flying colours. But I've got things to look forward to as well. I'm getting my new tattoo done at the end of this month, a day spa booked for my husband and I for our 10th wedding anniversary in September and a weekend with my husband in Bunbury. I need to keep some focus though - if I don't look after myself, I'm going to keel over in a heap before the year is out.
It's time.....
I need to concentrate more on my training this week. I've been doing cardio and looking after what I eat but not completely strictly.
I'm feeling pretty happy though within myself and work seems to be going fairly steadily as well. I don't really know what the difference is. I've been off my medication for about a month but it doesn't seem to have affected me as it used to. I'm looking forward to my life for the first time in a long time. It feels a little strange....
I have a heavy 5 months ahead of me now - I'm directing a play for Melville (auditions at the end of this month and production starts final weekend of November), I'm planning to getting back to my singing at some stage and I'm also looking at passing all my exams through Tech with flying colours. But I've got things to look forward to as well. I'm getting my new tattoo done at the end of this month, a day spa booked for my husband and I for our 10th wedding anniversary in September and a weekend with my husband in Bunbury. I need to keep some focus though - if I don't look after myself, I'm going to keel over in a heap before the year is out.
It's time.....
Sunday, July 12, 2009
New Perspective
I'm struggling to find my reason for keeping on going. I had a long chat with Mark today about reasons for training and I'm now trying to keep some perspective and find something new to keep me on track. I think this week I'll train as I've been doing, I'll focus more on my diet and just work on some personal stuff.
Funnily enough I'm actually feeling a little more motivated to be more severe with myself at the moment. I've been constantly sabotaging my goals for months but it's time to take some control. In retrospect, the self-doubt I've been experiencing is probably related to how I've been feeling at work.
This last week has been good at work for me. I've been out doing a couple of jobs on my own and taking charge of them all alone. It's built my self-worth up more than I've had over the last 18 months. I think that feeling is going to help me with my goals and my achieving them.
I'm going to do some work on my personal goals and the like this evening and then get my gym bag ready for the morning. I need to get some sleep tonight and work on getting my iron levels up - I believe they might be contributing to my unrelenting weariness.
Here's to a good week!
Funnily enough I'm actually feeling a little more motivated to be more severe with myself at the moment. I've been constantly sabotaging my goals for months but it's time to take some control. In retrospect, the self-doubt I've been experiencing is probably related to how I've been feeling at work.
This last week has been good at work for me. I've been out doing a couple of jobs on my own and taking charge of them all alone. It's built my self-worth up more than I've had over the last 18 months. I think that feeling is going to help me with my goals and my achieving them.
I'm going to do some work on my personal goals and the like this evening and then get my gym bag ready for the morning. I need to get some sleep tonight and work on getting my iron levels up - I believe they might be contributing to my unrelenting weariness.
Here's to a good week!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Queensland!!
Well, here I am in sunny Queensland visiting my folks and going to the Royal Show tomorrow and Thursday with mum and my sis.
Got here Saturday morning with approx 3 hours sleep on the planes but felt OK until the afternoon and then crashed for about 2 hours. The days have been full of catching up with mum, brother, aunt and a little bit with my dad. And eating.
When I come home, the people I love fix all my favourite meals because it's a treat to have me home and neither they nor I know when I'll be back again. So it becomes a real holiday from everything good.
When I arrived on Saturday, I actually was so tired that I can't remember what I ate. I didn't write it down and just plain can't remember. Yesterday, I had oats with lite milk for breakfast, a stir fry (leftovers) for lunch and then when I got to my aunt's place last night she had already prepared toasted ham, cheese and tomato sandwiches and caramel tart with custard for dessert. I loved it! She wouldn't have had dessert normally but she did it especially for me because we haven't seen each other in about 18 months properly. When I came home for Gran's funeral in march doesn't really count because it was not a normal visit.
Today, I had a protein drink for breakfast, meat, vegies and pumpkin for lunch and I've just had a casserole for dinner.
Tomorrow we're going to the show and I know that mum and I will have our Dagwood Dogs and waffles. I'm not going to make any excuses for what I'm eating. I'm home.....
I'm going to enjoy this time of refreshing my mind and spirit while I'm here. I needed to come and see my mum to put life back into perspective. She and I have had a talk about my future goals and aspirations and she (for the first time) is in full agreement with them. She hasn't ever really wanted me to weight train or do anything like that. Her way of losing weight is to diet. That has never worked for me. But she is right behind me with my comp ideas. It feels good to have her in my team....
Got here Saturday morning with approx 3 hours sleep on the planes but felt OK until the afternoon and then crashed for about 2 hours. The days have been full of catching up with mum, brother, aunt and a little bit with my dad. And eating.
When I come home, the people I love fix all my favourite meals because it's a treat to have me home and neither they nor I know when I'll be back again. So it becomes a real holiday from everything good.
When I arrived on Saturday, I actually was so tired that I can't remember what I ate. I didn't write it down and just plain can't remember. Yesterday, I had oats with lite milk for breakfast, a stir fry (leftovers) for lunch and then when I got to my aunt's place last night she had already prepared toasted ham, cheese and tomato sandwiches and caramel tart with custard for dessert. I loved it! She wouldn't have had dessert normally but she did it especially for me because we haven't seen each other in about 18 months properly. When I came home for Gran's funeral in march doesn't really count because it was not a normal visit.
Today, I had a protein drink for breakfast, meat, vegies and pumpkin for lunch and I've just had a casserole for dinner.
Tomorrow we're going to the show and I know that mum and I will have our Dagwood Dogs and waffles. I'm not going to make any excuses for what I'm eating. I'm home.....
I'm going to enjoy this time of refreshing my mind and spirit while I'm here. I needed to come and see my mum to put life back into perspective. She and I have had a talk about my future goals and aspirations and she (for the first time) is in full agreement with them. She hasn't ever really wanted me to weight train or do anything like that. Her way of losing weight is to diet. That has never worked for me. But she is right behind me with my comp ideas. It feels good to have her in my team....
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Weigh in
I've got my weigh in tonight. Last time (2 weeks ago), my weight didn't change but that was OK. This week, I have a feeling that will not be the case.
I've been having problems with my tummy again lately. Things are not settling down there and it's causing me to bloat at the drop of a hat. I'll be fine one minute and then my tummy will feel really big and will start to puff out.
I'm thinking that when my diet becomes really consistent, then it will stop completely. It's not liking me chopping and changing and being good then being bad.
Anyway, I did my leg workout yesterday which felt fantastic. Am improving my technique with squats every time I do them. I'm finally getting down to parallel with the dumbells and really feeling my hams and quads for the first time instead of my back! My left knee was protesting a little but I opened my stance a little wider and then it seemed ok. But I'll keep an eye on it.
Today, I'm doing shoulders and traps which tends to be one of my favourite workouts. My shoulders look quite good even under the fat and my traps as well. That's what I like to see.
Anyway, I'm off to the gym after I finish my coffee.
See you later on!
I've been having problems with my tummy again lately. Things are not settling down there and it's causing me to bloat at the drop of a hat. I'll be fine one minute and then my tummy will feel really big and will start to puff out.
I'm thinking that when my diet becomes really consistent, then it will stop completely. It's not liking me chopping and changing and being good then being bad.
Anyway, I did my leg workout yesterday which felt fantastic. Am improving my technique with squats every time I do them. I'm finally getting down to parallel with the dumbells and really feeling my hams and quads for the first time instead of my back! My left knee was protesting a little but I opened my stance a little wider and then it seemed ok. But I'll keep an eye on it.
Today, I'm doing shoulders and traps which tends to be one of my favourite workouts. My shoulders look quite good even under the fat and my traps as well. That's what I like to see.
Anyway, I'm off to the gym after I finish my coffee.
See you later on!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Motivation is Overratted!
I've just spoken to Mark! I love that man!!! He always knows just what to say to get me going again. And I've needed it. Don't worry Mark, I'll call you during the week if I start feeling like it's all too hard.
He said this morning that motivation is overrated. I told him that I just lost all motivation this week to train or eat right or anything. He asked me if a person can train without motivation. I said, well yes of course. That person just physically gets to the gym and trains. They may not get as much out of it as they would if they were bursting with enthusiasm but they can still physically get their asses out there and train. He answered that's right. You may not be motivated when you start to train but as you continue to do it then you will feel better and more like training.
That's what I've missed this week. I've missed having the impetus and the push behind me to keep me on track this week. Mark always knows exactly what to say to me to get me going again.
I'm heading to the gym shortly (after my third cup of coffee) now that I've done a lot of housework and had my phonecall.
Here's to a good day!
He said this morning that motivation is overrated. I told him that I just lost all motivation this week to train or eat right or anything. He asked me if a person can train without motivation. I said, well yes of course. That person just physically gets to the gym and trains. They may not get as much out of it as they would if they were bursting with enthusiasm but they can still physically get their asses out there and train. He answered that's right. You may not be motivated when you start to train but as you continue to do it then you will feel better and more like training.
That's what I've missed this week. I've missed having the impetus and the push behind me to keep me on track this week. Mark always knows exactly what to say to me to get me going again.
I'm heading to the gym shortly (after my third cup of coffee) now that I've done a lot of housework and had my phonecall.
Here's to a good day!
Accountability
I'm feeling guilty about not maintaining my accountability. My eating is out of control at the moment. I'm not actually sure why that is so. I'm feeling mostly in control of everything right now but I seem to be eating everything in sight.....
I'm obviously punishing myself for something but I can' t think what.
This week it's been chips and wine. During the day I seem to be pretty much OK but night time when I get home, I fall to pieces.
Damn it. Today I'm going to be good. I'm going out to the pub with a friend this afternoon but I'll drink lime and soda instead of wine. Also because I have to drive approximately 45 minutes just to get to his house and pick him up.
I also haven't trained this week as I've been really really weary. Late nights are catching up with me and it's been a hard physical week at work. I know, I know, I'm making excuses again. I should just be focussed on the training since I won't be training from next Saturday for approx 11 days. I'm going to take home my skipping rope and my good sneakers so I can walk and do some cardio while I'm home anyway.
What's wrong with me?? I really really want to compete next year but underneath it all, I think that I'm scared. My mind is telling me that I'm going to fail THIS time as well as all the others and I think that's why I'm sabotaging myself. It's easy to admit failing when you haven't really put in the effort. "Oh, things just got in the way and since training takes up so much time, I didn't really have the time to dedicate to it." "I had to spend so much time preparing my food that it just got a bit much for me and I found that I didn't have time for it."
I always have time to sit in a bloody drive-through and wait for full fat and disgusting tasting meals but don't "have the time" to prep some good healthy meals and get my large arse to the gym.
I'm looking forward to going home and seeing my folks at the end of this week. Maybe going home and getting some grounded perspective of life, the universe and everything again will help. Sometimes, I just need to see my mum!!
Well, I'm talking to Mark in just 20 minutes and then I'm heading to the gym to get myself back on track again before going off and being social this afternoon. I've actually got better things to do than go out to the pub but I promised that I would go.
sigh.....
I'm obviously punishing myself for something but I can' t think what.
This week it's been chips and wine. During the day I seem to be pretty much OK but night time when I get home, I fall to pieces.
Damn it. Today I'm going to be good. I'm going out to the pub with a friend this afternoon but I'll drink lime and soda instead of wine. Also because I have to drive approximately 45 minutes just to get to his house and pick him up.
I also haven't trained this week as I've been really really weary. Late nights are catching up with me and it's been a hard physical week at work. I know, I know, I'm making excuses again. I should just be focussed on the training since I won't be training from next Saturday for approx 11 days. I'm going to take home my skipping rope and my good sneakers so I can walk and do some cardio while I'm home anyway.
What's wrong with me?? I really really want to compete next year but underneath it all, I think that I'm scared. My mind is telling me that I'm going to fail THIS time as well as all the others and I think that's why I'm sabotaging myself. It's easy to admit failing when you haven't really put in the effort. "Oh, things just got in the way and since training takes up so much time, I didn't really have the time to dedicate to it." "I had to spend so much time preparing my food that it just got a bit much for me and I found that I didn't have time for it."
I always have time to sit in a bloody drive-through and wait for full fat and disgusting tasting meals but don't "have the time" to prep some good healthy meals and get my large arse to the gym.
I'm looking forward to going home and seeing my folks at the end of this week. Maybe going home and getting some grounded perspective of life, the universe and everything again will help. Sometimes, I just need to see my mum!!
Well, I'm talking to Mark in just 20 minutes and then I'm heading to the gym to get myself back on track again before going off and being social this afternoon. I've actually got better things to do than go out to the pub but I promised that I would go.
sigh.....
Monday, June 1, 2009
Almost finished the hard part
I've been going nuts studying for a resit Tuesday night. I spent most of yesterday just trying to understand the fundamentals with the rotten maths but I think I've got it pretty much down today. I'm still a little shaky but if I try to think logically about it, then I should get through the exam tomorrow night with flying colours.
In the meantime, my training is suffering a little bit because this exam has taken priority for the moment. Once it's over, then I can fully concentrate on what I really want to do which is train!!!!
I've missed the gym today because it's a public holiday over here and the gym is only open for about 3 hours. I've just realised what the time is and I've missed it....sigh. Well I'll be all ready for tomorrow morning. I'll get some cardio in this afternoon when I've finished my study so I'll at least have done something today!
My eating hasn't been good. I've not been thinking about it and picking at chips, and chocolate up until now. I'll take some meat out of the freezer when I've finished here and make sure that I have my food ready for the week so there's no excuses......
I'm feeling ready to take on the world for some reason. Maybe because I had a big weep yesterday over my feeling of inadequacy regarding my apprenticeship...... But last night I made up my mind to succeed in a big way, get some of the top marks in my year, be nominated for apprentice of the year and then compete a couple of times next year. My sister is chuffed with the last thing. She's looking forward to checking out my chosen outfits when we meet up at mum's place in a couple of weeks.
I'll blog a little more later on today......
In the meantime, my training is suffering a little bit because this exam has taken priority for the moment. Once it's over, then I can fully concentrate on what I really want to do which is train!!!!
I've missed the gym today because it's a public holiday over here and the gym is only open for about 3 hours. I've just realised what the time is and I've missed it....sigh. Well I'll be all ready for tomorrow morning. I'll get some cardio in this afternoon when I've finished my study so I'll at least have done something today!
My eating hasn't been good. I've not been thinking about it and picking at chips, and chocolate up until now. I'll take some meat out of the freezer when I've finished here and make sure that I have my food ready for the week so there's no excuses......
I'm feeling ready to take on the world for some reason. Maybe because I had a big weep yesterday over my feeling of inadequacy regarding my apprenticeship...... But last night I made up my mind to succeed in a big way, get some of the top marks in my year, be nominated for apprentice of the year and then compete a couple of times next year. My sister is chuffed with the last thing. She's looking forward to checking out my chosen outfits when we meet up at mum's place in a couple of weeks.
I'll blog a little more later on today......
Monday, May 25, 2009
Hate Being Sick!!!
Got sick last week which threw my training off slightly. Went to the gym Wednesday morning and by the time I got to work, I was NOT well.... Went home and spent the next 2 days in bed feeling like death warmed up.
I've made it through the weekend without feeling too bad but I'm not feeling 100% today. But I went to the gym this morning to train legs. Got through my warm up sets of squats with dumbbells. Started my first set of squats proper and on rep 3 I must have changed my position slightly. My lower back gave me a small tweak but I finished the rep. I stretched slightly and the back felt OK. Started rep 4 and it screamed in agony which subsequently put an end to my squatting for the day. Not Happy Jan!
I managed to do seated ham curls and leg extensions and then went back on the treadmill to try to get my body moving again. Not a good thing...... My whole workout was over in about 20 minutes flat because my back made it impossible to bend over or to walk comfortably.....sigh
During the day, I was sitting down for most of it because it was my Tech day. That wasn't the best idea when your lower back is not well.....
I kept having to get up and stretch it out and try to find the most comfortable position to sit.
But I got through the day. I'm going to take some pain killers tonight and head to bed reasonably early to make an early start for the gym tomorrow. Back, Traps and something I can't remember right now....
I'm planning to doing legs again on Friday morning - that should give my bod a little time to recover from whatever I did this morning....
My eating was not good today either. I made a decision to have a chocolate and a muffin this afternoon - damn my weak will and my crampy tummy!
Ah well, I made that decision. Now I'll make a decision to eat correctly tomorrow because I'm the only one who can make it and keep myself on track.
The good thing this week was that I lost 600g Thursday week ago and then last Tuesday I lost another 1.6kg. I don't know how I'll go this week as I've not exercised and my eating has been ok but not great.....
Take it on the chin and let it go. I resolve to try my very best to do my very best and be my very best because I'll be taking a whole 9 days off everything in a couple of weeks when I go home!!!
In the meantime, eat well, think well, stay well.
I've made it through the weekend without feeling too bad but I'm not feeling 100% today. But I went to the gym this morning to train legs. Got through my warm up sets of squats with dumbbells. Started my first set of squats proper and on rep 3 I must have changed my position slightly. My lower back gave me a small tweak but I finished the rep. I stretched slightly and the back felt OK. Started rep 4 and it screamed in agony which subsequently put an end to my squatting for the day. Not Happy Jan!
I managed to do seated ham curls and leg extensions and then went back on the treadmill to try to get my body moving again. Not a good thing...... My whole workout was over in about 20 minutes flat because my back made it impossible to bend over or to walk comfortably.....sigh
During the day, I was sitting down for most of it because it was my Tech day. That wasn't the best idea when your lower back is not well.....
I kept having to get up and stretch it out and try to find the most comfortable position to sit.
But I got through the day. I'm going to take some pain killers tonight and head to bed reasonably early to make an early start for the gym tomorrow. Back, Traps and something I can't remember right now....
I'm planning to doing legs again on Friday morning - that should give my bod a little time to recover from whatever I did this morning....
My eating was not good today either. I made a decision to have a chocolate and a muffin this afternoon - damn my weak will and my crampy tummy!
Ah well, I made that decision. Now I'll make a decision to eat correctly tomorrow because I'm the only one who can make it and keep myself on track.
The good thing this week was that I lost 600g Thursday week ago and then last Tuesday I lost another 1.6kg. I don't know how I'll go this week as I've not exercised and my eating has been ok but not great.....
Take it on the chin and let it go. I resolve to try my very best to do my very best and be my very best because I'll be taking a whole 9 days off everything in a couple of weeks when I go home!!!
In the meantime, eat well, think well, stay well.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Dedication
I've organised most of my meals for tomorrow anyway. I'm thawing out my meat for the rest of the week so have to cook it tomorrow night....
I'm all organised in my head for tomorrow's training session and am looking forward to it prior to going to Tech. I know that I have failed my last exam at Tech so am going to have to book a resit (damn it!). Ah well. It just proves that I didn't understand the fundamentals of the subject this time!
I've just watched Mark's 170kg squat on YouTube and I'm seriously impressed! I can't wait until I can do 100kg without falling in a heap!
I'm heading off to bed shortly as I am still trying to catch up on some sleep from last week. Note to self: get more than minimum sleep this week in between workouts!
Let's rock this joint this week! I'm really REALLY looking forward to it!
I'm all organised in my head for tomorrow's training session and am looking forward to it prior to going to Tech. I know that I have failed my last exam at Tech so am going to have to book a resit (damn it!). Ah well. It just proves that I didn't understand the fundamentals of the subject this time!
I've just watched Mark's 170kg squat on YouTube and I'm seriously impressed! I can't wait until I can do 100kg without falling in a heap!
I'm heading off to bed shortly as I am still trying to catch up on some sleep from last week. Note to self: get more than minimum sleep this week in between workouts!
Let's rock this joint this week! I'm really REALLY looking forward to it!
Motivation
I've just spoken with Mark and I'm feeling pretty chuffed right now. I've just been reading his E Class 23 which is all about motivation and the strategies to put in place to make it a habit. This is a very very smart man who knows what he's talking about and I'm just so happy that I found him. He's the man I need in my life right now!!
I've made my committment to eating correctly and decided what those foods will be. I've made my committment to training a certain amount of times and doing certain things each week. I'm keeping my inspiration and motivation close by keeping my E Classes with me and keeping my prospective outfits, etc with me during my days. I'm reading my motivational articles during my lunch hours at work to keep me going when my days seem really long and hard to deal with.
The one thing I need to work on now is a positive attitude. I used to have one but I seem to have allowed myself to become negative. I need to keep closer watch on what comes out of my mouth and only allow positive things out. You are what you say you are.......
I've made my committment to eating correctly and decided what those foods will be. I've made my committment to training a certain amount of times and doing certain things each week. I'm keeping my inspiration and motivation close by keeping my E Classes with me and keeping my prospective outfits, etc with me during my days. I'm reading my motivational articles during my lunch hours at work to keep me going when my days seem really long and hard to deal with.
The one thing I need to work on now is a positive attitude. I used to have one but I seem to have allowed myself to become negative. I need to keep closer watch on what comes out of my mouth and only allow positive things out. You are what you say you are.......
Monday, May 4, 2009
Training
I did a back and biceps workout today. I'm working with limited means as my gym isn't set up for someone with my goals but for the moment, it's perfect for me to lose weight!
I used the assisted chin machine and it was kickin'! I'm a big girl and heavy but it's giving me a real buzz every time I get on it and lift. I'm around 111kgs and I'm only chinning about 30kgs of that but it's more than I've done before. I'm loving it! I love watching my traps and shoulders bulge through all the "velvet".
Tomorrow I'm going to be doing shoulders, traps and abs. I'm also going to start doing Arnold's tummy vacuum at home when I'm just watching TV. It will help strengthen my abs and get me used to holding it all in!
The only thing I'm finding difficult at present is handling my stress levels which are through the roof and then I turn to the wine list! This week, I'm going to work on them but I'm going to do it slowly. By the end of next week, I've promised myself that the wine will go as will all other alcoholic beverages. I've started to do some meditation and breathing exercises to try to cope with other problems in my life at the moment that I really really getting me down.
I'll get there! I've got a good support team in place and I'm going to turn to them as much as possible to get me through.
Well, now I have to update my diet diary and send it to Mark so he can keep me accountable!
I used the assisted chin machine and it was kickin'! I'm a big girl and heavy but it's giving me a real buzz every time I get on it and lift. I'm around 111kgs and I'm only chinning about 30kgs of that but it's more than I've done before. I'm loving it! I love watching my traps and shoulders bulge through all the "velvet".
Tomorrow I'm going to be doing shoulders, traps and abs. I'm also going to start doing Arnold's tummy vacuum at home when I'm just watching TV. It will help strengthen my abs and get me used to holding it all in!
The only thing I'm finding difficult at present is handling my stress levels which are through the roof and then I turn to the wine list! This week, I'm going to work on them but I'm going to do it slowly. By the end of next week, I've promised myself that the wine will go as will all other alcoholic beverages. I've started to do some meditation and breathing exercises to try to cope with other problems in my life at the moment that I really really getting me down.
I'll get there! I've got a good support team in place and I'm going to turn to them as much as possible to get me through.
Well, now I have to update my diet diary and send it to Mark so he can keep me accountable!
Inevitability Thinking
If I knew with absolute certainty that I was going to win a figure contest and be in the best shape of my life, what would I do now?
I would cement my eating habits down to a science.
I would commit to weight train 5 - 6 days per week.
I would commit to doing cardio of one form or other 5 - 6 days per week for 1 hour per time.
I would commit to preparing my weeks' meals every Sunday.
I would commit to shopping for clean foods every week so I can prepare the perfect meals on Sunday.
I would commit to getting 8 hours of sleep each and every night.
I would commit to eating every 2 - 3 hours and taking my supplements on time every time.
I would commit to drinking 3 litres of water every day.
I would commit to setting my goals regularly and revisiting them regularly.
I would commit to helping others achieve the same things that I will have done.
I would commit to opening my own gym where girls can come and prepare for their own competitions.
What am I committed to do to make this become inevitable?
As Rae said in one blog,
"I can control my body, I can control my mind. I can control what I eat and I can control my attitude. I cannot control a lot in this life but I can control these and I can control how I react to situations that are out of my control.
These are things that you have to go through; a process; in order to discover things about yourself and truly learn the lesson."
I would cement my eating habits down to a science.
I would commit to weight train 5 - 6 days per week.
I would commit to doing cardio of one form or other 5 - 6 days per week for 1 hour per time.
I would commit to preparing my weeks' meals every Sunday.
I would commit to shopping for clean foods every week so I can prepare the perfect meals on Sunday.
I would commit to getting 8 hours of sleep each and every night.
I would commit to eating every 2 - 3 hours and taking my supplements on time every time.
I would commit to drinking 3 litres of water every day.
I would commit to setting my goals regularly and revisiting them regularly.
I would commit to helping others achieve the same things that I will have done.
I would commit to opening my own gym where girls can come and prepare for their own competitions.
What am I committed to do to make this become inevitable?
As Rae said in one blog,
"I can control my body, I can control my mind. I can control what I eat and I can control my attitude. I cannot control a lot in this life but I can control these and I can control how I react to situations that are out of my control.
These are things that you have to go through; a process; in order to discover things about yourself and truly learn the lesson."
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Feedback
Well, just got a comment from my Trainer. He's asked for more consistency in my diet and a few more days of information for him to give me some advice.
I need to become more committed to doing things differently as he has suggested because I've been doing the same things for years but nothing changes if you don't change.
I'm going to write out what I want to do and how I intend to do it and we'll work from that!
Thanks Mark, you are a Godsend!!!
I need to become more committed to doing things differently as he has suggested because I've been doing the same things for years but nothing changes if you don't change.
I'm going to write out what I want to do and how I intend to do it and we'll work from that!
Thanks Mark, you are a Godsend!!!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Competition
I think I've just decided to compete next year.......I was just looking around on the internet at bodybuilding (as you do) and discovered a couple of sites with competition bikinis and the relevant paraphenalia that is required on comp day. From there I went looking at the different federations and I think I've decided to aim for the WFF comp here in Perth next May and then the INBA comp around October......
This is a very odd moment for me because I've played with the idea before but I've not actually pictured myself going through the motions to really do it. I've just been sitting here imagining myself training dieting and psyching myself towards these comps.....
This is a good thing isn't it??
This is a very odd moment for me because I've played with the idea before but I've not actually pictured myself going through the motions to really do it. I've just been sitting here imagining myself training dieting and psyching myself towards these comps.....
This is a good thing isn't it??
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Sunday mornings
Well, here it is Sunday morning and I've already had 3 cups of coffee. I'm planning a busy day because I'll be out most of tomorrow.
I've already got my training planned for the week and I'm chuffed with what the week is looking like! I'm upping my weights this week and am feeling much better than last week. I'm looking forward to getting back into the gym and lifting again. When I do it before work, it feels like I have all the time in the world to get it done and because the gym is only 5 minutes or so from work, I don't need to rush it.
I've just found some photos of when I lost all the weight last time and both my hubby and I were appalled at how I've let myself go since then. I'll add them into this blog at some stage when I find my digital versions.
I'm going shopping today to get all my vegies and plan all my meals so that I can cook now that I have an extra teenager in the house who is an eating machine!!
I'm in the mood to do a complete clean out of the house today so I think a couple of DVD's on the TV put on loud and I'll have a wonderful productive day. No daughters home tonight and Jeff is at rehearsal all afternoon so I'm going to be home alone pretty much all day which will be an absolute Godsend!
Well, I'll probably update this again later on today and I don't doubt that I will find some sort of comments from Mark here!
Stay positive, Smile broadly and train hard
Jodie
I've already got my training planned for the week and I'm chuffed with what the week is looking like! I'm upping my weights this week and am feeling much better than last week. I'm looking forward to getting back into the gym and lifting again. When I do it before work, it feels like I have all the time in the world to get it done and because the gym is only 5 minutes or so from work, I don't need to rush it.
I've just found some photos of when I lost all the weight last time and both my hubby and I were appalled at how I've let myself go since then. I'll add them into this blog at some stage when I find my digital versions.
I'm going shopping today to get all my vegies and plan all my meals so that I can cook now that I have an extra teenager in the house who is an eating machine!!
I'm in the mood to do a complete clean out of the house today so I think a couple of DVD's on the TV put on loud and I'll have a wonderful productive day. No daughters home tonight and Jeff is at rehearsal all afternoon so I'm going to be home alone pretty much all day which will be an absolute Godsend!
Well, I'll probably update this again later on today and I don't doubt that I will find some sort of comments from Mark here!
Stay positive, Smile broadly and train hard
Jodie
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Supplement to Anzac Day
My pic is one of the Perth Now gallery of photos of the Dawn Service......What a nice surprise....
Anzac Day 2009
Got up at 4am to be at the dawn service by 5. It was a beautiful morning at Kings Park (apart from the small hitch created by the sprinklers going off just before the whole thing started!). Not too cold and the birds singing on cue.....
I put my wreath and rose on the Cenotaph for Gran and Grandad and when I came down again, there was a reporter from the Sunday Times who wanted to speak with me about Grandad and what Anzac Day meant to me and to him. So after briefly talking with him and trying to hold myself together, he said that it will be part of the Anzac spread in tomorrow's paper. I'm going to get copies for Mum and Coley if it is a good write up.
Ian Jeff and I then went to the Atrium for breakfast which was nice but I'm no longer enjoying the sweet stuff or the fatty stuff which has got to be a good thing! So I would say that my body is finally starting to change for me and by next year, I'll be the buff one putting the flowers on the memorial....
I'm looking at possibly marching in the parade next year for Grandad and getting copies of his medals done by the RSL. But we'll see....
I've got to talk to Mark at 1pm to catch up with him because I forgot to call him last week I think. I've not been good but I've got some strategies in place to combat the potential sugar cravings that I know are probably going to rear their ugly heads this week....
I've had a couple of epiphanies this week and I'm finally beginning to take some notice of them!
I'll update this later with my plans for the week and that way I can be more accountable for them!!
I put my wreath and rose on the Cenotaph for Gran and Grandad and when I came down again, there was a reporter from the Sunday Times who wanted to speak with me about Grandad and what Anzac Day meant to me and to him. So after briefly talking with him and trying to hold myself together, he said that it will be part of the Anzac spread in tomorrow's paper. I'm going to get copies for Mum and Coley if it is a good write up.
Ian Jeff and I then went to the Atrium for breakfast which was nice but I'm no longer enjoying the sweet stuff or the fatty stuff which has got to be a good thing! So I would say that my body is finally starting to change for me and by next year, I'll be the buff one putting the flowers on the memorial....
I'm looking at possibly marching in the parade next year for Grandad and getting copies of his medals done by the RSL. But we'll see....
I've got to talk to Mark at 1pm to catch up with him because I forgot to call him last week I think. I've not been good but I've got some strategies in place to combat the potential sugar cravings that I know are probably going to rear their ugly heads this week....
I've had a couple of epiphanies this week and I'm finally beginning to take some notice of them!
I'll update this later with my plans for the week and that way I can be more accountable for them!!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Photos
The photos below are an accurate look at what I've allowed myself to balloon to. I'm going to change it.
I'm going to be hot!
I'm going to be hot!
Mental Preparedness
I'm going to see a sports psychologist as soon as I can. I need to find some way to make some goals and find the mental strategies to go for them and let nothing get in my way. I'm finding it frustrating to not be able to find the strength to keep going.
I want to stay positive and stay upbeat. I'm just not able to manage it at the moment. Everything seems to get on top of me and I don't know how to keep going.
What is wrong with me that I can't seem to find my focus or my centre? I struggle on and then sabotage myself and my progress.....
I'm going to keep going. And keep going. And keep going!! You only fail if you stop trying. I'll keep trying until I succeed.
Help Me!
I want to stay positive and stay upbeat. I'm just not able to manage it at the moment. Everything seems to get on top of me and I don't know how to keep going.
What is wrong with me that I can't seem to find my focus or my centre? I struggle on and then sabotage myself and my progress.....
I'm going to keep going. And keep going. And keep going!! You only fail if you stop trying. I'll keep trying until I succeed.
Help Me!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Easter
Well well, 6 weeks into my challenge and I've fallen all the way off the wagon and am rolling down the road! I've lost barely a thing and I've allowed things to get on top of me once again.
I spent last night drinking lots and lots and LOTS and, although I feel OK today, I think that I'm going to have to give up drinking altogether because I just can't keep doing this to myself. It's sad really that I have no stopping power. By this age I would have thought I'd have more control over myself but noooooo
Ah well, today is another day and tomorrow is another day, etc, etc. I'll just keep on keeping on and getting myself back on the road to good health, good eating and heavy training.
I was thinking the other day that if I never had to work again, I'd be at the gym every single day doing all the training that I could. That's where my passion lies. I think that I allow my super-busy days to derail me because I just can't keep my focus on the future. I keep looking at what I have to achieve each day and I get tired just thinking about it.
This weekend has been an absolute god-send because I haven't had to do a thing apart from what I wanted to do. Nothing planned, noone to catch up with, no where to have to be......absolute BLISS.....
I'm going to head off for a while and work out all the things that I have to do this week and get myself organised with the shopping etc so I can be completely ready for another big week.
Until next time, keep thinking WHATEVER IT TAKES!!!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Tuesday Tuesday (dah dah dah dah dah dah)
Well, here we are after Hawker's. It was a full on weekend and I loved it. I stood in air conditioning and coordinated all the acts to get on stage on time. It was confusing, frustrating and I LOVED IT!!!!
Apparently I didn't so do a bad job because I believe that the person who was in charge is planning on booking me for the gig again next year and I've made some awesome acquaintances....including stilt walkers, lion dancers and martial artists..... It was wonderful
I'm sitting at home at the moment, having showered and having my 5th glass of wine and feeling like I should go to bed because I lost a huge amount of sleep over the weekend (thank you very much Rachel!) and I'm now trying desperately to catch up but I'm up waiting for Rhiannon to get home from going to dinner at around 6.30pm this evening and it's now 10pm....sigh. 18 year olds, can't live with them.........
I'll write more tomorrow about what I'm doing and what I'm planning for the week.....
Apparently I didn't so do a bad job because I believe that the person who was in charge is planning on booking me for the gig again next year and I've made some awesome acquaintances....including stilt walkers, lion dancers and martial artists..... It was wonderful
I'm sitting at home at the moment, having showered and having my 5th glass of wine and feeling like I should go to bed because I lost a huge amount of sleep over the weekend (thank you very much Rachel!) and I'm now trying desperately to catch up but I'm up waiting for Rhiannon to get home from going to dinner at around 6.30pm this evening and it's now 10pm....sigh. 18 year olds, can't live with them.........
I'll write more tomorrow about what I'm doing and what I'm planning for the week.....
Thursday, January 29, 2009
So Tired
I know that I should go to bed because I have to try to get as much sleep as I can before working all weekend. I'm working at Burswood from 10am until 11pm both Saturday and Sunday being ASM for Hawker's Bazaar.....what am I in for?
I'm struggling with trying to get motivation for training and eating right. I know that I have to do both to lose the incredible bulk that I've managed to attract to my butt and thighs but I'm finding it difficult to do it and stay positive with my job and my step-kids and my husband and the housework and all the other hobbies that I've managed to acquire along the way. I'll get there though...
I'm going to start blogging and posting pics on here to keep myself honest and let my trainer see what I'm doing as well....
Well, I'll finish off this glass of wine and go to bed methinks...YAY for Sleep!!
I'm struggling with trying to get motivation for training and eating right. I know that I have to do both to lose the incredible bulk that I've managed to attract to my butt and thighs but I'm finding it difficult to do it and stay positive with my job and my step-kids and my husband and the housework and all the other hobbies that I've managed to acquire along the way. I'll get there though...
I'm going to start blogging and posting pics on here to keep myself honest and let my trainer see what I'm doing as well....
Well, I'll finish off this glass of wine and go to bed methinks...YAY for Sleep!!
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